EDIT: This was previously named Trivial Things.
Oh my God, I'm sorry this took me so long to start. This was previously called 'I Blame the Bunnies', or something similar. The rest of the story will be in first person from Darq's point of view.
The newly named Alice Something stared at Darq intently. Slowly, Darq edged as far away from her as she could without crushing Kallista into the window. The backseat of the Bentley was surprisingly crowded when full of a three teenage girls, a frying pan, and a rice paddle. Add a Fletcher on the floor and two incredibly awesome detectives named Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant – who happens to be a well dressed skeleton - in the front seat, and you’ve got a disaster on wheels.
“Not one scratch,” Skulduggery reminded them. It was almost he had read Darq’s thoughts.
Alice was still staring at Darq. “Dude,” Darq finally said. “Mind telling me why you’re staring at me?”
“Have you decided on a taken name yet?” Alice – more commonly known as Ice – inquired.
“No,” she muttered glumly. “I want to have Darq in it, but anything I put after that sounds cheesy.”
“And dumb,” Fletcher put in. “I mean, you’re an albino. Even if it’s spelled with a “Q”, the name Darq just sounds dumb.”
Darq glared at him through her snowy bangs. “Shut up Fletcher, nobody likes you.”
Fletcher glared back. “Val likes me.” He turned to Valkyrie. “Right Val?”
“Fletcher…I’m your girlfriend. I don’t really count,” Valkyrie told him gently. She looked like she was trying to laugh.
“Oh…” Fletcher looked crestfallen. “Well, Skulduggery likes me.”
“And where did you get that impression?” Skulduggery countered in an amused voice.
Kallista was currently burying her face in her sleeve to stifle her giggles.
Fletcher looked around as if hoping that someone else would be in the car, but there was no such person. Darq quirked an eyebrow at him, biting her tongue so that she wouldn’t laugh. Fletcher stared at her helplessly for a second before looking at the floor. “I like me,” he muttered softly.
Valkyrie, Kallista, Ice, and Darq burst out laughing. Skulduggery chuckled a bit. Darq patted Fletcher’s spiky hair, somehow managing not to lose her hand in the process. “It’s okay Fletcher. You’re just here to be comic relief.”
He stared at her incredulously, all traces of sadness gone and replaced with irritation. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
Darq opened her mouth to make a witty retort when Skulduggery cut her off. “Well, as amusing as this is, we need to get down to business. Ice, Darq, you know about Derek Landy and how he writes about our world.”
Ice gaped at him. “You mean that he didn’t make it all up and that this isn’t an insanely awesome dream I’ll have to wake up from eventually?”
“Well of course it’s not made up,” Skulduggery grumbled. “I’m far too amazing to be made up. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if Valkyrie or Fletcher were made up, but me? How could you think such a thing? Who would be capable of making up someone as fabulous as me?”
“…Fabulous?” Kallista muttered, earning another round of giggles from the girls.
“Anyway,” Skulduggery continued. “What I would like to know is why Dusk, Sanguine, Scapegrace, and Springheeled Jack all came after you two.”
“Probably because we found some magical items from an anime in our teachers’ offices,” Ice offered.
There was a moment of silence in the Bentley. Then Valkyrie asked “…What?”
Immediately, Ice turned to Darq. “You explain. Tell them about the Humpty lock and the Dumpty Key and Scapegrace’s army of evil bunnies and the secret tunnel in the supply closet.”
Darq stared at her friend for a moment before sighing. Slowly, in a voice hinted with excitement, she began to recount their tale.
So part one and (approximately) most of part two will be Darq catching us up on the story, but it will be told like that was just happening. It's hard to explain, but I think you'll get it when you read it. But first....
1) Yes, Darq is an albino.
2) Ice's taken name is Alice Something.
3) Ice will be called Ice by everyone currently in the Bentley plus China and Ghastly. Anyone else will she meets will call her Alice.
4) Same thing for Darq when she takes her taken name.
5) Alice and Darq are not their given names. Their given names won't be revealed for awhile.