Friday, July 4, 2014

Planter - A Poem

A poem about growing and learning to remove the things that stop you from doing so.  It's hard, but I'm figuring out how.

Warnings for mild body horror (but not actual scary horror).

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Planter

It's a little too late to break the winter-dusted ground
and turn the soil
and plant the seeds you've been given.
There's no room. They won't grow.

Dandelion roots stretch deep into your heart,
so deep you don't bother trying to tug them out anymore
because it only makes you bleed.
It's okay – they look nice for a while.

But they die so fast
and spread so quickly.
When you cough
you breathe out their seeds.

The other weeds have too many names
and you can't remember them all,
not even for the ones that sprout on your brain.
Especially those names.

You cannot replant until you unplant,
and this means opening yourself enough
to let everything old wither and die.
It means letting the wind ghost over your bones.

Cleansing yourself means unscrewing your skull
and exposing the rest of your bones -
to pick out each root and fiber
and to deal with the blood and acrimony that follows.

You're overgrown but not rotten, and like bristlecone pines
you're alive even if you look mostly dead.
The wind will erode you into something new.
Something strange and anomalous, but better.

You've started the hard work already -
you're pulling rhizomes from your toes.
Bluebells are weaving out from between your ribs.
You're making room for new things to grow.

10 comments:

  1. It is really good to read something from you again, I hope you are doing well.

    I love how powerful this poem is, the metaphor is so vivid, with some really beautiful language turning feelings into plants.

    It made an explosion of sensations in my mind. There is something very raw and real in these words.

    *hugs*

    Fantastic poem. Just wow.

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  2. :') Thank you so much Octa!!!

    This was hard to write, I won't lie. But I'm glad I did it, and I'm so glad you like it and that it made you feel something. Honestly your comment means so much to me.

    *hugs back* I am doing well!! Thank you for asking and I hope you are too :-)

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  3. I am glad you wrote it too, I have been struggling with writing recently. It's been so long since I wrote anything that I've kind of forgotten how.

    I am doing well overall though, enjoying my holiday. Been watching a lot of anime, and am always looking out for recommendations if that's your jazz.

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    1. FRIIIIIICK I MEANT TO REPLY TO THIS AGES AGO!!! and!!! I thought I did!!! I think blogger ate my comment :(

      Anyway. I have also been struggling with writing. It's not as easy to find the voice, the characters, the stories as it was two or three years ago. Maybe I am just more tired or more busy but it feels like there is no more room in my head for stories. I wish it wasn't that way. But Octa!!!!! You are one of the best writers out there (you're better than so many published authors) and I believe in you!!! It might take time and it might be hard but I know you will remember again :-)

      I'm glad you're having (had?) a good holiday. Anime is a great way to spend the summer. As for recommendations, well....I haven't watched much lately but I really like Ouran High School Host Club, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (NOT THE ONE WHOSE TITLE IS JUST FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!!! That was an earlier anime that caught up to the manga too quickly so it ran out of canon stuff and just became a weird AU and it's STRANGE and DISCONCERTING. FMA:B is much better), and Naruto!!! But Naruto is super long haha. And I've started Kyoukai no Kanata and it's super good+cute but I'm not done yet!! Mar really likes that one too. And I don't know if you like the magical girl genre but Mermaid Melody, Tokyo Mew Mew, and Shugo Chara are good!!! Nar & FMA:B are shonen and OHSHC is slice of life. KNK is more adventure I think but I'm not sure!!

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    2. Well I've been reading lots of new stuff which is always good to spark the old imagination, although I have yet to write anything new.

      And I am still having a good holiday, you get ridiculously long summer breaks at university, I have 3 months off from mid June to the end of September. (I've seen quite a bit of anime now, and Ouran Host Club and FMAB I'd already seen and loved. I haven't tried watching FMA yet since I've been told FMAB is much better). But thanks for the other suggestions, I will add them to my list. I'm currently watching One Piece which is super long even by Naruto standards. I'm about 170 episodes in and will probably still be watching for months.

      As to which genres I like, I've enjoyed everything I've seen so far, which is mostly shonen. I've seen FMAB, Death Note, Ouran Host Club, Attack on Titan, Kimi ni Todoke, Anohana, Elfen lied and now part of One Piece. Also Avatar Last Airbender/ Legend of Korra which not everyone counts as anime but I do.

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    3. Also no worries about the reply, I know how annoying it is when blogger eats your comments.

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    4. I should really have put all these in the first comment, but I forgot to ask how your summer has been. I miss everyone from the blog a lot and it would be nice to catch up a bit. I've just come back from a 2 week holiday in Wales, to see my boyfriend. It was awesome, we went to Cardiff and saw so many places where they film Doctor Who.

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    5. I'm glad your summer is going well!!! And yo your Wales trip sounds like it was GREAT!!!!!! Seems like you had a grand time. That's such a rad thing to do!!

      Also I'm very happy you loved OHSHC and FMAB!!! They're some of my all time faves. I've always wanted to watch One Piece, I think I will once I'm caught up with Naruto.

      And my summer was....well, it was okay!!! It had some very good parts but honestly, overall it was too short and very stressful and not restful. I was working two jobs - one was as a camp counselor 5 days a week for 6 hours a day, so with my other job, two/three times a week I worked 11-12 hours in a day :') I also had sooo much summer homework so I cried a lot haha. But I did go up to Canada for a few weeks to see my extended family and it was GREAT, we goofed around and had a lot of fun. But then I had to go back to REAL LIFE FOR REAL PEOPLE and everything was terrible. And then school started and here I am!!!! Yay. Things are slightly less terrible now, I guess. I don't really sleep that much and I have gym class first period but things could be worse.

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  4. Aaaaaaa i'm sorry i said i would read this like a week ago frick

    But-- This is a really top notch poem! :> The language and metaphors you use are really high in quality and all work well together to paint a nice picture.

    (also i really like seeing the differences between the poems you wrote, say, two years ago compared to the ones you write now. aaand now i'm gonna post this before i start making plant puns weh)

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    1. THANK U SO MUCH MARCY ILY!!!!!!!!! I'm. Really glad. That I've improved and you noticed!!!! <3 <3 <3

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