i had a bad day so here have a bad poem about bad thoughts that i don't have the energy/will/life force to make better. nice.
and if you haven't read the story i posted yet then that's a damn shame bc you're missing out something great (read: ridiculous), do not sleep on that story y'all
ps listen to this song or this song if you're sad
ps listen to this song or this song if you're sad
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You cut all your hair
but now it’s not long enough
to pull in front of your face
when you’re crying.
You heave yourself up two flights
of the school stairs
and you go so slow you’re not even winded
like normal.
You get frowns for not smiling
and people tell you to be okay
without even realizing
that you’re trying.
You leave yourself inside your head
for too long and it gets cold
and foggy and dark in there and no one
can break it.
You talk to yourself with your head on your locker
in an empty hallway and it’s enough
weight gone to keep you up when you feel
like you’re dying.
*hugs back* thank you so much, kallie!! i hope everything is okay for you and that you are also okay!!
ReplyDeleteHad a bad couple of days too, and it's surprising how suddenly I can relate to this. Glad you're expressing yourself, sometime's it's the only way to deal with the mess we sometimes find ourselves in.
ReplyDeleteLast two verses are my favourite, btw. I understand all to well, Thal.
Just reminded of that quote that Skul once said, or I guess Derek. Don't know if it relates to you atm, but hey here's the quote anyhow:
"The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves."
I guess I lie a lot to myself, i think we all do. If i get the chance, i think it'd be good to write all the lies out, see if i could bring them to light instead of ignoring them. Though that's the point, isn't it? Just ignoring the lies and trying to believe them.
Won't tell you that it's going to get better, btw; i'll tell you to do whatever the hell you want to further yourself. I think somewhere inside everyone we know what'll fix the situation. For me, i think it's action. I think i need to just keep doing work and thinking positive thoughts (yay corniness). Fake optimism can actually become real optimism, you know? But it's like some of Terry Prachett's Wee Free Men books- i'm pretty sure there are a lot of parts in there where the 'magic' is all just based on purposely ignoring the fact that you're doing magic. The moment you realize that you're doing it, it'll collapse. So the moment you remember that it's fake optimism, you might collapse too. I reckon it'd be a lot more fun to just keep going with it though.
Okay, enough rambling from me. Half the crap i wrote probably isn't relevant anyway.
*hugs* Stay shiny n shit.
nah buddy it's relevant and i get ya, i get what you're sayin
ReplyDeletefake optimism is hard for me for a lot of reasons but it's a nice thought!!! i wish it was a skill i had. but i tell myself a lot of negative things so it can be really hard to tell myself positive ones in the face of that yknow. idk. love those books though.
thank you for the comment!! i'm glad you liked the poem and i hope you're doing alright *hugs* i believe in you!!!
Yeah, I was really moved by this poem. It is so vivid in its sadness but beautiful too because of the shared bond created when you relate to it because you expressed what you are (were?) feeling so perfectly. It reminds me a little of the anime AnoHana.
ReplyDeleteHope you get through this, and are okay, you are such a wonderful friend and I miss you. Miss everyone in fact, hopefully we can all talk again over summer.
(forgot to reply to this one oops sorry!!!!!!)
ReplyDeleteaw octa i'm so glad you liked it. your comment is very sweet and thank you thank you a million times for your kind words! i honestly didn't know if anyone would relate to this poem but i'm glad it came through. (and i've always wanted to watch anohana. better get on that i suppose!)
and i am okay thank you! life has been rough but i keep going. i hope you're okay as well and i miss ya too