Tuesday, May 20, 2014

a poem

i had a bad day so here have a bad poem about bad thoughts that i don't have the energy/will/life force to make better. nice.

and if you haven't read the story i posted yet then that's a damn shame bc you're missing out something great (read: ridiculous), do not sleep on that story y'all

ps listen to this song or this song if you're sad

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You cut all your hair
but now it’s not long enough
to pull in front of your face
when you’re crying.


You heave yourself up two flights
of the school stairs
and you go so slow you’re not even winded
like normal.


You get frowns for not smiling
and people tell you to be okay
without even realizing
that you’re trying.


You leave yourself inside your head
for too long and it gets cold
and foggy and dark in there and no one
can break it.


You talk to yourself with your head on your locker
in an empty hallway and it’s enough
weight gone to keep you up when you feel
like you’re dying.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Cool Lady Knights IN SPACE - A Story

[spooky yet strangely funky tunes à la Ghostbusters begin to play from an ambiguous source as a cool teen who vaguely resembles an anime skeleton rises from her grave. that teen is me.]

What's up kids

I wrote this months ago and never got around to posting it, oops!!  This was a story for school that had to be written with vocab words, so that's why it reads a little funny.  I also went overboard?  I just really like cool ladies and knights and dragons.  Sorry I haven't been posting, school is busy as heck.  Final exams are coming up but final projects are already HERE and READY TO PARTY!!!  And by party I mean destroy me.

But yeah, this is the most I've written in several months and I WISH it weren't so but alas!!!  When school is out maybe I'll get back in the game.  I've wanted to for a while, I just have had no time, so this is all you're getting from me for now.  Been tossing around a few poem drafts but nothing's flowing too well.  Maybe because I also haven't had time to read as much.

Hope you all have been doing well!! <3
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Lancelot was still cowering in the second to last crater, twenty feet back. Percival hadn't yet left the first one. Annie couldn't see Gawain, but two minutes ago he had been using her as a human shield, so her hopes for him weren't very high. Absolutely unsavory behavior, really. She made eye contact with Arthur, six yards away behind another boulder, and jerked her head to the side in the universal “let's-go-kill-this-monster-so-we-can-go-home-and-sleep” motion. Instead of nodding back in the usual “heck-yeah” response, he grinned sheepishly and shook his head very quickly.

“No thanks,” their leader mouthed, and Annie's eyes rolled so hard they flung themselves straight out of orbit and into frozen clutches of deep space. So much for the valiance of knights.

A tap on her arm and Iris was beside her. She was panting hard, breath misting on the front of her helmet. Percival had been holding her back to “protect him” (literally, he had wrapped his arms around Iris and refused to let her go, despite the fact that she abhorred him and would have not hesitated to throw him to the dogs), so how Iris had gotten up here in a discreet manner was simply another unsolved mystery of the universe. Annie patted her on the shoulder and grinned. Iris winked back, exhaustion gone, charming disposition back in an instant, and pointed in Arthur's direction. Holly was now crouching next to him, both thumbs up.

Her crew all set to go, Annie peeked out from behind the boulder at their adversary. Originally it had taken the form of a bear-sized donkey with the head of a whale, but now the thing had augmented itself to the size of a small house and was starting to look like a pastel pink dragon, with teal and yellow accents. Against the backdrop of swirling galaxies and shining stars, it really didn't look as pernicious as its official profile made it out to be. But then a space bird flew overhead on its way to blow up another dying star and the dragon torched it with a blast of purple fire and caught the burning carcass in its jaws. Blood and feathers flew everywhere.

Okay, that was pretty vile.

Rolling her shoulders, Annie took a deep breath of the recycled air flowing through her spacesuit, and then gave the signal. She and Holly darted out into the open, while Iris opted to take advantage of the lower gravity of the small moon and leap dramatically over the boulder. In the slight reflection of her transparent bubble helmet, Annie saw Arthur scramble to his feet and stare after them. She waved back at him, and he slowly sank back down, his face sullen. Not good. He's going to make this out to look like mutiny in the official report, isn't he? Annie mused. What a loser.

For the mission to turn out favorably they had to rely on the cowardice of the Knights of Camelot, which wasn't exactly something any of them were comfortable with, but it was constant. Even though the Knights were renowned throughout space as being the bravest there were in terms of monster hunting, during her time on their squad, Annie had found that when faced with anything larger than a dog, the boys would adhere to their doctrine of unnecessary terror, hide together in a small huddle, and draw straws to see who would have to go kill it. And then they would stall as long as possible, while Annie and Iris placed bets on who would do something useful first. And then usually it was Holly who got fed up and went to go finish the job.

But was it Holly on all the posters and merchandise that decked the rooms of every child this side of Andromeda? No, it was the cowering bunch of idiots behind them. The boys looked good on paper, but in actuality, they weren't a very good example for posterity. They belonged in a TV drama, not actual deep space. Holly, Iris, and Annie did try to respect their teammates, but for the most part they just feigned obedience in front of higher-ups and did what they wanted the rest of the time. And if anyone with a higher rank did notice their transgressions against Arthur's command, they didn't say anything. The ladies got the job done and that was really all that mattered.

Arthur seemed to realize this, and the longer the three girls were on his squad, the more his dislike of them festered. While the predominant monster-related course of action for the Knights seemed to be cower, avoid, and then capture as quickly as possible (usually while screaming or crying), the girls had very little trouble skipping the first two steps. It also wasn't very difficult for them to capture the monster – and only if beguiling it into stopping its rampage didn't work – without the added hysterics.

Which was, in fact, what they were doing right now, while Arthur tried to burn holes in their helmets with his eyes.

Annie lift an arm and waved at the pink dragon. “Hi.”

The dragon stopped crushing the fancy moon rovers t that surrounded it and looked at her, unblinking.

“I'm Iris,” Iris offered cheerfully. The pink space dragon swooped its head around to her and she smiled wider. “These are my friends Holly and Annie. What's your name? The file said your classification was NNN888 but that's boring and hard to say.”

The dragon made a gurgling noise and misty blue smoke began to rise from its nostrils.

Iris nodded sagely. “That's okay, buddy. Take your time.”

The dragon unhinged its jaw and Annie tackled Iris out of the way of another stream of purple fire. Apparently their dragon friend was going to be unwieldy.

“Hey, dragon, can you not torch those two?” Holly frowned and crossed her arms. “Also, the whole crushing thing? With the moon rovers? Cut it out.”

“It would be much appreciated,” Annie wheezed as Iris pushed her off and she rolled across the moon's dusty surface.

The dragon looked like it was unsure of who to snarl at. “Why?”

“So you can talk!” Iris cheered in delight and then lightly sprung way from the fire shot at her. Holly leveled the tranquilizer gun at the dragon and looked at Annie for permission. She shook her head and Holly nodded in recognition, but didn't lower the gun.

Annie heaved herself back to her feet and stared at the dragon. It hadn't been crushing the rovers with much enthusiasm. Usually the beasts they faced took great joy in causing calamities, but their dragon friend was only halfheartedly destroying the precious science. It was also shapeshifter, obviously, but they weren't native to this star system. So that meant...


“Dude.” Annie waved her arms to get the dragon's attention again. Before she was turned into crispy dragon snack food, she tapped a button on her arm and a small hologram star chart popped up. “Do you need a ride home?”

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Note down here because I didn't want to put it up top but I'm getting published in a cool thing SHH DON'T TELL it's nothing that big but I'm excited because it's my first time getting anything published!!! yeehaw

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Pushing Up Daisies - Part Three

did you think i forgot about this story? because let me tell you a thing

i did forget. until like three days ago.

sorry this is short and sorry if anyone is out of character and and sorry that all the scenes seem rushed and sorry about any typos!!! i didn't edit and i wanted to post it before the new year (it's still 2013 where i am) and i'm leaving in like 15 minutes so i rushed a lot. and i'm bad at writing other people's characters, which is why i don't write star trek fanfiction.

also i wrote this in two days.

happy NYE.

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Thalia wiped her hand across her face, nose crinkling with disgust as the blood just smeared instead of coming off. She slid her sword back into its sheath and rolled her shoulders. A series of sharp cracks sounded as she twisted from side to side, hands massaging the muscles at the base of her neck.

Then she looked down at the man lying at her feet.

It was the guy in the wife-beater from earlier – earlier, in this case, being about three minutes ago. The gate to the restricted section of the cemetery led into a low, narrow tunnel, and Thalia hadn't even made it halfway to the door at the other end before the knife made sliced open her upper arm and the man was on her. Apparently he had not been as unconscious as she had thought. And now he had a sword wound in his leg and was glaring up at her.

She stepped around him carefully and tossed him a look over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't going anywhere. “Tell me, do you have a family? Friends? People who would miss your continued existence?”

Don't have much time for that sorta thing when I'm so busy chasing down little brats like you.” The words were spat at Thalia's back and she could feel the contempt in them dripping down her spine, and she made a humming noise in agreement.

No, I suppose not.”

I know someone who's looking for you.” Thalia stilled, halfway bent over, one knee pressing into the cold floor, fingers brushing the handle of the man's knife. Her blood was still glistening on the blade.

Something was tapping on the walls of her mind again, this time from the inside. A warning bell. “I'm sorry?” she murmured softly. “Who would that be?”

The man's tone changed, rough and seething hatred replaced by slippery threats and the smug confidence of knowing more than she did. “Dunno 'is name. Didn't ask. Didn't need to know. Said he would pay pretty well if I brought you to 'im. Said he had somethin' that would interest you, make you want to go.” Absentmindedly, she began caressing the knife's handle, tilting her head slightly as she listened. “A friend of yours. Didn't say their name. Just said a friend.”

Mmm?” The curved handle fit poorly into her palm. It was meant for larger, thicker hands than her own.

The man behind her was struggling to his feet. The sound of his heavy, damp breaths filled the tight space, punctuated by the dripping noise of his blood onto the stone below. He had loud footsteps.

Is that all you know?” Thalia kept her voice soft and measured. Blood was oozing in rivulets down her left arm, and there was a throbbing pain in her lower back from where the man's fist had made contact before. It beat in time with the drum in her head.

Another footstep. “No, I know that the reward ain't worth it.” She inhaled through her nose, exhaled through her mouth. “I know that you are going to have a lovely scream.” She licked her lips and let her eyes drift close. “I know that I'm goin' to have a great time bashing you around before–”

In one motion, Thalia stood and whipped around, her right hand leading. Blood sprayed the wall, her jacket, her face. The man fixed her with bright, confused eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, to scream, to curse her, but all that came out was a faint gurgling. Thalia smiled grimly as he fell to the floor. His hands scrambled at his throat, trying to comprehend that it had been decorated with a deep, bright gash. His blood started to pool around him. The gurgling noise continued.

She let the blade slip disdainfully from her fingers. A soft chiming sounded from it as it hit the ground.


March shouldered open the front door of the Manor and threw an unconscious Billy inside. He sprawled across the foyer, groaning.

Shut up,” March muttered. She kicked his head when she passed, fully knocking him out again. A soft cough reached her ears, and she flicked her bright red hair out of her eyes to look.

Israel Elysium was leaning against the doorframe in front of her, one eyebrow raised. He gestured to Billy. “Are you going to explain?”

Get your shotgun,” March said by way of greeting. “Get some other people too, if you can. We might need help. Also, throw this kid in a closet.”

I'm still waiting for you to tell me why you threw this poor, innocent citizen on my floor.”

In three swift steps March closed the distance between them and pressed the edge of her frying pan menacingly into his chest. “Listen up, numbskull. Thal is in trouble, yeah? We need to help her.”

Israel's eyes narrowed. “Sorry, but hasn't Circe been M.I.A. for the past eighteen months?”

Don't call her that. Don't. She's your friend.”

I'm just trying to figure out how this all works – she shows up out of nowhere after a year and a half of no contact whatsoever, I'm guessing giving you no explanation as to why, and now we're supposed to gather the cavalry and go charging into save her? She is my friend. I care about her.” March dug the frying pan deeper into his ribs. Israel sighed deeply and gently pushed her back. She let him, and the pressure on his chest eased up. “But I don't want to put anyone into any danger unless we know what's going on.”

She wouldn't have dropped contact without a good reason, Israel. You know that. Remember that time she decided she wanted to be a reindeer herder in Finland?”

Yeah.” He laughed despite himself. Lying about somewhere was the envelope Thalia had sent them, covered with unnecessary stamps, bulging with polaroids of her and her reindeer. “God, that was a train wreck.”

March nodded solemnly in agreement. “It was. I'm pretty sure at least three people died. But she was only out of contact for three months. Something must have kept her this time.”

Did she tell you anything?”

No, we didn't have much time–”

Then–”

March let out a sharp, angry huff. “Look, cheeseball. Thalia's trying to be all cool and James-Bond-y and pretend like she can go at it alone, but really we all know she's more of a Q-type at heart, and dammit, I don't know where she is or where she's been or what she's gotten herself into now, and for all I know she's probably killed a man since I left her. I'm worried. Whatever was going on was not even our usual brand of fucked up. It's, like, extremely fucked up. I'm going to go check it out, whether or not you or anyone else comes with me. But I would appreciate the backup, got it?”

Israel stared down the small, angry girl in front of him. “...Cheeseball?” was all he said.

Smiling, March stepped away and turned back towards the fallen form of Billy. “We head out in half an hour.”


The first thing that Thalia registered when she stepped out the other side of the tunnel was that she could still hear the rain, but she could not feel it. Her gaze was drawn up and it was like diving underwater during a thunderstorm and looking back at the surface. The rain stopped falling just below the top of the wall, making tiny rings in the air.

The next thing she registered was that it was warm in there. Far warmer than it was outside or in the tunnel. Perspiration was already starting to bead on her upper lip and temples.

The third thing she registered was that her sword was in her hand and that she thrust to the left just as the ghost – shrieking, and reaching towards her menacingly – got within striking distance. The ghost exploded at the same time pain exploded in her back and voices exploded in her head, and Thalia dropped to one knee, breathing heavily.

She looked up. Her face - gaunt, blood-spattered, streaked with rain-ruined eyeliner – was reflected back at her hundreds of times from hundreds of angles in the pearly bodies that were floating around her.

A breathy, humorless laugh escaped her. She dug the tip of her sword into the soft earth and used it to heave herself to her feet.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Friday, November 15, 2013

Ne Me Quitte Pas - Regina Spektor


And in the gardens I get lost
That is unless I'm getting found
And if you are the ghost of New York City
Won't you stick around?

Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Limitations of Me

Temporary blog title change until I can decide on something better!!!  I'm super indecisive okay

It comes from the "Frobisher's Letter" scene of Cloud Atlas (or, as I call it, the china shop scene), which I just watched on Friday night and I am still not over it.  I will never be over it.  That movie was gorgeous and heart wrenching and I love it and I'm in pain.  Wow.

The full line is "My life extends far beyond the limitations of me" but that didn't fit.

Here's the scene I'm talking about (warning: there are NSFW parts)