An Observational Statement About the Tedious Circumstance of Being Alive from the Viewpoint of a Household Cat - A Poem

Sometimes I write things with unnecessarily long titles, and sometimes I write things with necessarily long titles.  This is an example of the latter.
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An Observational Statement About the Tedious Circumstance of Being Alive from the Viewpoint of a Household Cat

i am

a cat

i am not

a human

i do not have

carefully laid plans

nor

a voice in

the world

and that should

bother me

perhaps make me

upset

but aside from

the institutionalized ennui

of my

current existence

i find

i am

content

with taking

your chair

and getting fur

on your best suit

five minutes before

you leave

for an important meeting

*FERVENTLY TAPS THE MICROPHONE*

HELLO YES

LOOK WHAT JUST ARRIVED

MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT

Look at how goddamn gorgeous this cover is.

Neil Gaiman signed this book.  Neil Gaiman.  Signed.  This.  Book.

Neil Gaiman

signed

this

book.

Someday I'll write a thing about what Neil Gaiman means to me/why he and his books mean so much to me.*  But for today I'm just going to say please please please read his books.  Read this one.  Read any of them.  Just...read them.  They are so so beautiful.

*To give perspective, Derek Landy has caused many good things in my life and means a lot to me, but Neil Gaiman means about 60x that or more.

*taps microphone*

Um hello yes

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman comes out tomorrow (June 18, which at time of posting, is in 55 minutes for me)

and

I have been wailing this song at the top of my lungs all day

Thank you for your time goodbye